It’s FRIDAY! How was everyone’s week? Mine was about the same as usual with a balance of being present for my kiddo and trying to keep all the chainsaws in the air. I will say it's exhausting having to be everything for everyone, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t give me purpose.
Mom mode is making sure Gremlin has all his needs met while also advocating for him. That’s not just advocating for him at school, with doctors and specialists, and people that don’t fully understand what a Non Verbal Autistic child looks/ acts like. It’s standing up to people that should also love and protect him that see him as a problem or puzzle to fix/ solve. Sometimes the outside world isn’t as cruel as the actual family. Which leads into protecting your peace and that of your child.
Therapist and sounding board, for those around me, gives insight into situations that I might not ever experience. Which falls into the “more you know the more you can help” category. This also opens up the line of communication, where people know they can text or call and I’ll be there.
For example: I have friends, or (as I like to explain) chosen family all over the United States. This one person lives in the NJ. Every time they can’t figure out a car problem, they contact me. 9/10 times I know the answer or can figure it out. This last weekend, I walked them through replacing an alternator. Stayed on Video chat until they were squared away. My other bestie lives in Indiana. I’m already trying to figure out the best way to get up to her to get her truck back on the road. As I’ve already made that 7.5 hour run to do it once before. And these are just a few examples.
When it comes to my husband, well I hear every little thing about a company I haven’t worked for since November 1st 2021. He still works there on second shift. Which means every damn conversation is about supervisors, workplace politics, and how they weren’t working this weekend and now they are working this weekend. Which lands on the will you please talk about something that matters but in the end to him it all matters.
Taxi… This isn’t as much as it used to be, but we were without a car there for a bit. Wednesdays and Thursdays are the only time I really leave the house right now. Gremlins speech therapy and bills. And I will say it's rather nice. Even though the enclosure of my office feels more like an exhibit than a working environment. Probably because I put my feet on the floor and walked 20 steps to the bathroom, 10 back to the kitchen to grab my drink, and 10 to my office chair. Come to think of it, taxi was a little more fun than this. LMAO.
And Last but never least, Writer. This is the hard part. This is the delicate balancing act between character and reality. Being present for those around me and off creating a world so few can see as vividly as I can. Thousands of interruptions and losing a train of thought, all to compete with deadlines that are self imposed. Which goes along with the post from either yesterday or the day before.
For a lot of writers, this is a side gig. Still very passionate about the work but it doesn't pay the bills. Me… Writing is my career. Royalties from Destined for More and Crossroads are what I have outside my husband. So bad months of sales could be the difference in Christmas money and trying to combat rising costs.
These are the thoughts that plague my brain on a the daily. Keeping everything perfectly spinning without dropping. What is your matrix? How do you look at your efforts? I know I look at each thing, smile, and keep pushing forward.
Be Brave, Be Bold, But Always Stay Humble
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