Finding My Rhythm Again (Slowly)

Good Morning Peps. How was everyone’s weekend? Mine was a little chaos mixed with a whole lot of realization. See between the show (The Hold My Pen Promptcast), writing (46 WIPs), and the general day to day that revolves around my home and family (chosen or otherwise), I am in a constant state of WTF now. Some say I’m doing too much, others don’t understand that I am basically a one woman wrecking crew that has run out of gas and fucks to give at the moment. 

Last week, I played catch up in zombie mode. Which sent me into a tail spin of shit not getting done. House still looks like a group of chaos gremlins had a party, laundry is multiplying faster than rabbits, and the intrusive thoughts that keep everyone second guessing, decided to have a party in my head. Which again has caused me to spiral worse than any other time in my life.

See, there’s a strange feeling that comes after a long stretch of chaos, and no one talks about it. It’s when you are desperately holding on to that little shred of hope that things will go back to normal. But when normal never comes it sends, you into the worse tail spin of your life. Which makes everything 10x worse. Makes you snappy, makes you second guess paths you already set out on, and it also sends you into the feeling of why the hell am I still doing this.

When things finally start to settle, you realize your rhythm, the tried and true method that has gotten you through every day, has gone a little quiet. Two things happen with that you either breathe a little easier because things are finally lining up like they are supposed to, or you start looking for the missing puzzle piece that might not exist. The routines that once felt natural now feel slightly off. The habits you built take a little more effort to return to.

First of all breathe…. Its not like the car keys are missed place or the backpacks have suddenly grown legs. Even though it feels like that currently. This is what I like to call “paying the piper”. Because reality is nothing is gone, but its past time to rediscover what works and what doesn’t. This is the evolving period in our lives. Completely uncomfortable, and making us wish there was an easier way when alas there isn’t.

After busy seasons, stressful weeks, or stretches where life takes priority over everything else, finding your rhythm again rarely happens overnight. Hell, we are lucky as hell if we manage to lock something that works down in a month. But we beat ourselves up when things happen slower than we need it too. Which lets face facts, doesn’t help anyone most of all us.

Opening a document and writing a few sentences.  Clearing one corner of a room that had been neglected. Cleaning out the fridge to find that damn mystery smell. Or even taking on the chaos that is the gremlin’s room. All tasks that put me into potato mode instead of the way shit used to be. Which is to get it done and so I don’t have to worry about it later.  

Taking a deep breath before jumping into the next task. Giving yourself 15 minutes to just be. Or just setting the damn timer (or remembering to do so) can make a world of damn difference. You’d be surprised what you can get done in 45 minutes when you are racing against the clock. 

These little actions are the beginning of momentum. And let's face it your world didn’t just explode into this overnight. It chipped away until the results in front of you couldn’t be ignored any longer. Like I ran experiment that both proved me right and fucked me over. Now I am both vindicated and stuck fixing it. The experiment…. How much I do around this house vs the other adult. So, I stopped doing everything that was directly tied to gremlin and me. Now the house looks like hoarders live here. I am constantly doing or redoing laundry…. And the other adult… Well, he has a knack for calling me lazy.  

We often expect ourselves to bounce back immediately, as if productivity and creativity should snap back into place the moment life calms down. But that expectation can create more pressure than progress. It also lets the intrusive thoughts of us not being good enough have a say when it should never get a fucking say.

Rhythm doesn’t return through force. It returns through patience. Through repetition. Through showing up, even when the pace feels slower than it used to. Through trusting that consistency will rebuild what disruption scattered.

Some days the rhythm will feel familiar again. Other days it will still feel slightly out of sync. That’s part of the process. The important thing is that you’re moving again. You're fighting forward no matter what forward looks like. 

Which is something I have to remind myself on the damn daily. I didn’t just sit and become a potato today. I started laundry. I am fixing to pick up and clean the gremlin’s room. I am going to start working on a project even if that is just reading through it again. 

Slow is still forward. Quiet progress is still progress. And rebuilding your rhythm, no matter how gradual, means you haven’t given up on the things that matter to you. Eventually, the steps become easier. The flow returns. The work feels natural again.

But until then, there’s nothing wrong with taking it one small beat at a time.

So, when life has handed you a shit storm, what do you do to put the train back on the tracks? How do you rebuild after shit has gone sideways? Leave me a comment below and lets compare what works for others.