"When the Muse is Drowning in Laundry"

Inspiration doesn’t come like a lightning bolt of perfectly curated thoughts and actions. It doesn’t wistfully dance into your creative space patiently waiting its turn in your life. It doesn’t wait until you have a free minute, let alone a free hand to handle something. NO… HELL NO….

If your muse is anything like mine, it comes strutting in like a drunk frat boy looking for a sandwich and something to derail. Other times it comes running in like a toddler jacked up on Surge and Jolt cola (LOOKING FOR MY 80s and 90s), with a glitter bomb, at least two permanent markers, and what we currently pray is only mud on the bottom of their feet demanding attention. 

But what happens when you stop everything and grab that piece of paper, phone, or even manage through the chaos to get the voice note open on your phone? Anybody? Anybody at all? Yeppers… it leaves your head and or hand faster than a cold drink in a car of screaming kids. And now you're pissed… not just a wtf kind of pissed. You're now having the meltdown your kids are currently having because the T.V. isn’t working right. Netflix has taken their favorite show/ movie off (IYKYK), or god forbid the internet decided to have a hiccup at 2pm in the afternoon sending all devices connected into a state of circle of death. 

For a lot of us it's just another Monday and/ or week of dealing with this until school is back in session and the next level of hell starts. Because then we have everything else to balance. Days when creativity feels like a faucet that someone's jackass keeps turning on and off like a garden hose on a hot day. Days when it feels like the drain’s clogged with mismatched socks, overdue bills, and the 3rd load of laundry you meant to switch over two days ago, but now your rewashing for the 3rd time.

Peeps, I SEE YOU. I see the struggle bussin because guess what boo. I am too. There isn’t a moment of my day when I’m not like “please for the love of everything holy leave me be.” By the way, I only have one. There are a lot of you out there with a lot more than that. But my son is like 5 in 1. He has non verbal autism. 

SO between educational T.V., him going into meltdowns over the smallest thing sometimes, and my husband, who works nights, I have to be a one woman wrecking crew. Conquering my ever growing WIPs with a house that looks like a tornado hit it, because my son thought it would be a good idea to throw all the clean laundry all over the house, in the split second it took me to actually go to the bathroom. 

What I am trying to get at here is there is no such thing as balance when you are the primary parent that has any sort of creativity as your primary source of work. And when that work has you locked into your house 24/7 you're ready to scream and pull your own damn hair out. I don’t have a support system, well not one that lives close enough to help. My mom, who helped me with my son, so I could work, write, and well let's face facts, just breathe or take a breath passed a year ago. And the year before that she was in a rehab facility because she broke her back. Shit gets real fast when you don’t have someone you can lean on or trust.

So before you throw your hands in the air and say I can’t do this. Take a minute. And realize you're not alone. There are tons of us out here making it day by day trying not to die under the mountain of house work, bills and expenses that keep adding up, and living each moment between meltdowns and moody ass characters that decided now would be a good time to stop talking to you. Or my personal favorite cats that think they can type and lose three days worth of hard work. (thanks to whoever came up with the back date.)

It's controlled, loosely controlled, chaos. Writing isn’t romantic when your back hurts from cleaning and the only soundtrack you’ve had for hours is Baby Bum or a meltdown over the DVR losing connection to a t.v. it was never meant to connect to all because your child will lose his ever lovin shit because he can’t watch Alvin and the Chipmunks for the billionth time this week. 

So if today, your big win is getting two paragraphs written between switching laundry loads and finding snacks for your kid. Guess what… you’re not failing. You’re writing through the storm. You’re being the badass you need to be. And I am proud of you. One more thing before I leave you on this Monday, it doesn’t have to be perfect…. You can’t edit what you don’t have. And my favorite, no your character is never going to do what you want them to… please don’t give up hope. 

What’s your muse juggling today? Drop a comment or tell me how you make time when life’s falling apart around you.

Be Brave, Be Bold, ALWAYS Stay Humble.

See Y’all Wednesday!