"I’m Still Here — And That Has to Be Enough Some Days"

Good evening everyone. I know this is coming in late today, but I did a mental health shut down for a good bit of the day. Which I recommend for those that can pry themselves away from tech, without disrupting their work. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I have just felt physically, mentally, and emotionally drained. And that hits hard when you're carrying the world (or at least your slice of it) on your shoulders.

 We have the heat/ humidity, which here in the south, is like that cousin that can’t seem to read the damn room. Responsibility of work, house, family and community that seems to guilt trip you when you aren’t present enough. And oh, let's not forget, school is just around the corner.

While most of us are gearing up for the battle of bedtimes, no you can’t wear that, and where the hell are all the socks. Others are now dealing with empty nest syndrome, as now all of their gremlins have scurried off to lives of their own. They prayed for this day to come and now that it's here, they regret the words ever leaving their mouths. While I’m not personally going to have to deal with that for a while, if ever because of my son’s autism, I do understand.

We personally show up every day as parents. No sick days. No time off. And for us stay at home parents, our only sound of stillness is from the time they get on the bus till they get home. Doesn’t mean we don’t love our kids; it means the summer beat our asses with a switch and now we need some time to recover. That looks different for every person and parent.

For me, that’s 8ish hours of moving room to room deep cleaning. Getting laundry and writing done in a semi timely manner and sitting in quiet with that first cup of coffee before chaos erupts the way it always does. That’s preparing for homework and bad days. The worry of will he make friends this year, or will it be radio silence like it has for the last four years. While also hanging on by a damn thread.

Right now, I’m just hanging on the best way I can. Still putting two feet on the floor and squaring up like the world isn’t going to beat me. The reality is we have that choice. We can choose to be the victims and let life beat us down like we owe it money, or we can stand up and fight. Fight for our own little corner of the damn world with our writing, art, or whatever brings us joy. 

I’m reminded of something Momma used to say to me all the time. “It’s time to put up or shut up. Everyone gets knocked down. It's how you rise up that will either make you a legend or a fleeting memory. Cry. Scream. Let it the fuck out. And when you are done. Do something the fuck about it.” 

So, while we are all preparing for the next season of our lives, remember nothing lasts forever. This too shall pass. And if all you did was fucking exist today, I’m proud of you. I see the struggle, and it's not pretty for any of us. Some of us hide behind filters, while the rest of us hide the shit with dark humor, caffeine and throw pillows. Whatever keeps you on this side of the dirt, in a state of health, happiness, and humor, is a damn win. 

Now shoulders back, chest out, and strut. You got this, because I believe in you. Now I got to run, the gremlin took off with my drink again. So, Peace and Love. Remember Be Brave Be Bold, But Always Stay Humble. Catch you guys in a bit.